so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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