clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize