His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
