even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize