i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
