WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my shit smells like andre
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
