I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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