My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
