When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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