called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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