Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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