Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
