Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I fill condoms, not promises.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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