just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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