If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
farters have to be the big spoon...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
