You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
