You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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