Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize