I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I deserve this hangover.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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