I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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