I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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