so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
