is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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