In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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