Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
