I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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