clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
