umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
