he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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