I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
