Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize