i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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