I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
