Im at strip club and am horny
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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