sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
