The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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