I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
