Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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