Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
