So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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