No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
