I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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