guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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