david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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