I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
