Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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