You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
