she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize