Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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