as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How does one acquire holy water?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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