wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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