i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
