guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
