I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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