Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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