Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I could fuck to npr.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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