Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
