i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
